He deleted me
Off his friends list, at least he’s
been thinking of me…
Nothing starts off the day like crying at six in the morning.
My plans to be completely moved out again by summer probably won’t happen, I can’t even leave the house without my dad asking “are you sure you want to go? You don’t have to. It’s okay. You’re okay?”
I don’t need to be coddled or have people walking on eggshells around me. I’m fucking crazy, and it’s not something new, it’s a chemical imbalance I’ve dealt with for 19 years. But if I can’t even leave the house in the morning to go to my university without being checked up on or not feeling right or like someone thinking I’m going to kill myself, how the fuck am I going to get past this? I am just not in a good place right now, but the one thing I understand about this is the world isn’t stopping. It’s not waiting for me to catch up and it doesn’t care that I doubt its legitimacy. It keeps going and things will happen and time will progress. But if I’m stuck here, anchored down by others fears that I’m going to hurt myself if I try to live, then what is the point?
I’ve never been fragile and I don’t need to start now.